on fixing oneself...

We don't always realise or care what others think...
We ignore the obvious..
Oblivious to the destruction we leave in our wake..
Mostly we ignore it hoping it goes away..

You asked me to fix this..

I was wrong.. out of line..
Yet the feelings I felt never faded.. never changed..
Even after you were gone the words you spoke lingered..
The love I felt I could not shake..

I sat there learning to cry..
Sat there learning to feel. .
I did this for me..
But hoped it was for us..
We all have hope..
We are allowed to dream..

We seek reality in a plastic world..
I looked there.. but now realise there is none in that space..

I could never shake the feeling..
I was stationary.. motor not broken..
Would never allow it to be...
I just could never engage the gear to drive away..
Missing my passenger..
The person I could take with on a journey..

I waited hooing you had not found another seat to fill..

meantime I closed my eyes..
found the route.. changed it..
I now reads main highway..
not alternative...
am ready for our journey...
no side roads.. just a long road to a destination..
and want you next to me..
if I stray you are there to kerp me in the right lane..
But I have gone over the route...
omitted any paths and roads that may intercept the journey...

I want to rife this road with you...

I dedicate these words and thought to someone who has the purist heart and love..
someone I hurt ..
but through it all..
someone I never stopped loving..