Just Lee

I have nothing to say other than...

I'm just Lee..

No frills...

No fuss..

Just live everyday hoping there will be someone for me...

Someone to love me back as I would love them...

I don't want more...

Don't want less...

Want the simplest thing....

LOVE...

A generation ends...

I sit and ponder....

Thought it would never happen...

But slowly the forest fell around me.......

Oh my beautiful mother... The thoughts... Memories...

You and Daddy gave me this life...

Taught me all... Kept me in check...

Saved my sanity... My life...

I owe you my life... Yet you gave yours...

Years go by as we learn... We absorb...

We laugh... We cry...

But through all this learning...

Who...

Who...

Who teaches us to take the knock... Teaches us it's ok to cry...

You taught me well...

The manners...

How to treat others fairly...

Both good and bad...

But never how to say goodbye...

So I will learn... At least I will try...

Good bye sweat Mommy...

Thank you for the years you gave me...

I will teach what you have taught me...

You were all a person needed...

Rest peacefully now...

Go find Daddy and hopefully you two will look down and see what you taught me is being put to good use....

Placement of words...

I know you read...

Aware of ppl hanging on every letter....

Every word....

I have none today...

I've thought about a few...

Penned a couple...

Erased a few more than I intended...

I'm left only with these to offer....

Nothing.... nothing.... nothing...

Sitting..... Sharing....

I share my life with many....

Give it to a few.....

Leah is my life.... Everything connected to her is in my heart....

Prejudice is not me... I give everyone a chance... Give my soul...

Never ask for anything... Never just take.....

My heart and soul are fragile... God knows I'm human...

Betrayal is a sword...

It cuts and slashes my heart.... Fractures my soul....

I don't see myself as a pillar of stone...

I may be tall...

I may look like I can withstand the continual bashing....

But like a molded item...

Inside the tough exterior is a fragile filling......

Inside is a heart.... Easily broken........

.... finding a smile.....

... How difficult can it be......

...Finding a smile.....

Being happy...

Being me...

I try most days to smile...

Try harder to be happy...

I guess that's the problem...

Trying... Trying...

Instead of trying I should just be....

Being is not pretending...

Being is wonderful....

Being is me...

No more trying to be....

I will be me.....

Daddy...... I miss You

to the man that helped give me life......

to the man that taught me to be me....

showed me why his hands were as they were... as mine are...

Hard... weathered... capable...

Those helping hands...

You put us first...

You taught us to be giving...

Taught us kindness... To be just...

You prepared us for life... As yours was...

You instilled the basics... Yet showed the complex...

you are the one I looked up to... The one I still look up to...

I was prepared Dad... I thought I was....

I watched you wither... Watched the man I saw as my hero slowly waste away..

I thought it unfair... Unjust... So wrong....

But then I look in the mirror... The reflection....

My life's reflection...

Then I see the echos of you...

I smile through the tears... I laugh at the memories...

Memories you created...

Memories we shared...

Memories I will always cherish...

I celebrate you dad...

You will always be my dad...

My Hero...

My all...

I write this in memory of my father...

Cecil Henry Irving... 1940-2011

Rest in peace dad...

We miss you...

... to BB....

as i stare into the dense night... dense... inpentrable...

i see an illumination... a soul shines...

... you have an aura... pressense... passion...

... i crave... need... want this...

... in return i give my heart... soul... life...

... bb... thank you for making me whole...

... showing me the world is not all evil...

... showing me light where there was none to see...

... in return i give you my inner self to keep... hold... have...

love you bb... need you bb... want you bb...

B'you-nay's Story

... We pick up from past words.... .... As my discussions with this Angel deepen.... She shows me her wounds... Here fixes.... Perfect circles surround the slashes... The fixes of past damage evident in the tiny circles... Some may admire the skill it takes to fix such damage...... that all my take a deep breath and admire them... ...She shows me the private inner sanctum... Wow... ... Perfection... firm... proud... ... The discussions go deep into the night..... Her pain of her Keeper Baltasars..... ....Someone who has a penetrating word..... His gift I'm enlightened is on of hurt....To shame..... ... He hurts her inner core..... demanding the un-holy... taking away her faith... ... stripping her bare of everything a She-Angel yearns for... ... Demanding her filth... not her cleanliness..... ... This draws our Angel into a state of night... She losses time... Filth is here enemy... ... It shames her... Deprives our Angel a life to teach the young ones.... ..She speaks to me of the young ones she has borne.... The three... So un-alike..... ...But each a chip off her soul.... a piece of her in every way... ...The lithe.... The intelligent... The lady..... .... Our bond grows steadily stronger as we swop words..... ... Slowly I'm seeing her unfold in front of me... Wings that had been hidden now open gently... ... Ages of non use has left them bent and shapeless... ...But slowly.. gently as a butterflies awakening.....Her wings slowly arise....Wow..... ...I'm speachless and can only admire... No words for what seems hours... ... She is not tall.... But these wings tower above her... Delicate shape... This I suppose is for her delicate moves she was able to perform..... Her Palladium coloured hair a contrast to these magnificent royal colour... A colour of Kings.... She must be a Royal Angel I catch myself thinking...... Which Angel was bestowed this status... .. Which other received this gift of Purple..... ..... It becomes clearer why I said this Angel is no normal Angel.... ....B'you-nay what sectrets do you hold.... .. Show me these... I shall cherish them a lifetime..... To be continued....................................

"In continuum, defense of an Angel... The fight continues"

....yet... I carry on my story... My Angels.. My soul..
... She is no ordinary Angel... She is a lithe one... One who uses actions & movement...

Against the stream i shall tell you her name...

... i shal name her... b'you-nay... angel of movement... she lives in my soul..

... a picture in mind.. a perfect person... a body of a siren... proportionate, and every dreams dream...

... hair of a bright lustrous palladium...

... but as all angels... my angel was also of a fighter...

.. and as all fighter angels she bore her scars... she bore fresh ones...

.. ones where they fixed the damage for the better...

.. our angel.. our b'you-nay was also a bearer angel... and bore forward three who would continue the plight of angels...

... this and countless scars would and can be fixed...

... skilled hands would be able to fix, rejuvenate...

.. but deeper scars would need kind words to bring peace...

... abuse on many levels left my angel in spells of the night...

... constant, yet avoidable...our angel tells of hurt...

... i swim in a stream of emmotion... i drown in her tears... wishing... wishing...

... i pray this tide dries and she no longer sees the night...

.. i said she has many talents... she moves well... a weapon a pole...

... an artfull talent she employed in her defense...

... it was her focus before she was drawn into the web of producing angels to aid the fight...

... she was given the task to carry on the fight by a baltesarn angel of despair...

... had she known she would never have signed for the task..

.. would never have taken on the plea to add to angels...

... maybe later she would have... but not in the beginning.. never...

i shall continue this as her story unravels...

.. for now... imagine her story... see her soul... see her as i do...

.. she inspires my applause... she is humble...

upon meeting more Angels....

... was a late summers day...

an invite for the basics...

... we languished and lounged...

... spoke of old words ...

spoke of old time... yet...

this was the first meeting...

... hopefully not the last...

... hopefully the first of many...

... she always smiled said this angel...

... not a mischeivous smile... it was a strong smile..

this angel was marga...

I always shared.....

.... Invited you in....
..... Showed you "me".. Showed my soul, my scars ... My life...
... I retain my heart... It's mine... all mine...
Forgive me not sharing it.... I always share...
Have my icecream... Drink my wine...
....take my hand....
... share my stories....
... Laugh my laughs...
... Just leave my heart...
...Nobody takes a broken appliance home...